Some people can be very emotionally abusive without knowing

Apart from my own experience in one emotionally abusive relationship, I recently heard from my friend about his traumatized experience that cost him another life to wake him up.

He who shouldn’t be name here, has my upmost admiration for being able to endure the relationship for 4 years and he can consider (to me) the man of all men! (Apart of my Teddy or partner of course!!!)

Let me share his story with you in point form. He got to know this girl 4 years ago and went into a very serious, long term and traumatic relationship.

1. He was forced to delete all female phone numbers
2. He was forced to stop attending any functions invited by any female
3. He was forced not to talk or answer the calls from any female
4. He was forced not to sit together with any female
5. He was forced to spend time with her, only her and her alone.
6. He will be questioned / interrogate numerous time if by any chance he chose to sit beside his buddy’s wife or girlfriend in any function.
7. He will be questioned / interrogate numerous time if so happened that he helped out any of his buddy’s wife or girlfriend.
8. He was interrogated when he speaks to his buddy’s girlfriend who supposingly very hot and pretty, and she is very jealous over it.
9. He was asked whether he was having an affair with his best buddy’s mother when he brought pineapple tarts to her during Chinese New Year (something he has done ages ago, yearly).
10. He was only allowed to play badminton once a week only after countless time of arguments.

Now bear in mind that any female means it could be from 12 – 80 years old of age, married or not married. Imagine the arguments he had with her for all those years and yet he is willing to get married to her after being together for 4 years. She was so insecure with him, thinking that the moment she turns behind her back he will go do something very bad. The worst was that she never allows him to talk to any female, not even his friend’s wife or girlfriend, especially those who are hotter than her! And she literally cut him off all his good buddies as she thought all of them are bad influence!

Yet? He still married her. They got registered during Feb and decided to have the ceremony on Aug however she got pregnant at May, thus requires to expedite the ceremony. Good news indeed and he was very happy! Too bad, she uses the pregnancy to stop him from going to that badminton session (the only once a week of pleasure) to accompany her. They had incalculable arguments again which stresses her so badly that she miscarriage!!! I couldn’t imagine for such a thing to happen. It was such a big impact to him for losing his baby that he couldn’t take it anymore for all the emotionally instability from her. So he left without turning back. That was the last straw.

They filed for divorce in the end.

Just because of her insecurity and sense of fear, she lost not only her child but her love and marriage. Yet, she didn’t wake up from it and blame him totally for not wanting him after she losses the child. How pathetic! She is so into her own world of insecurity that she fails to realise how much he'd loved her.

Now that reminds me of the same, well almost the same situation that one of my good friend’s is having (my college mate). He is a very close friend of mine and we always kept in touch with each other, hanging out and being there to help each other through ups and downs. However, the moment that he found his girlfriend (at about 3 years ago), he was forced to let go of our friendship or any of his female friendships. I became their major argument topic simply because I am close to him (something that never change since we know each other during college years) perhaps suspecting something very bad going on between us. She has one very imaginative mind there and creative one as well. It is bad that I had to walk away from his life (or more like he walk away from our friendship) just because to make her happy. Well, being a friend I respect that and admire him for it so I supported his action and never contact him anymore unless necessary. However, the last thing that I remembered was that he was very unhappy about how insecure his girlfriend is no matter how much he tells her he loves her. I just hope that he finds his happiness and wish that things have gotten better since the last I’ve heard from him. I didn’t dare to contact him without fearing in making his girlfriend quarrel with him.

I do wonder if any of you encountered this before? Emotionally abusive relationship.... or perhaps you were once, one of them?

How did you deal with your emotional partner or how did you deal with you who is emotional, at that point of time?

I think that they should go read this book.

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