When you break up with your partner do you clear the stuff that you have at each other's places immediately ...?
Confusing post ahead and highly recommend you to take a coffee so that it helps you with some information digestion.
When you break up with your partner do you clear the stuff that you have at each other's places immediately or leave it and do not bother about it or leave it there and take it as and when you remember what was left behind?
I do not have the tendency to get into such hassle in leaving my stuff behind after a break up. Mostly I will clear it all at once whether it is just a few things to collect or unimportant ones. Basically I feel that once that 'we broke up' it is wiser to clear the stuff so nothing is left hanging or going through the trouble / embarrassment to ask for it, later. Whatever for? Whether it is an amicable break up or not, I will still clear it up because my ex no longer has the responsibilities to keep the stuff I put there nor he is required to safe-keep it or I do not have the 'rights' to do so anymore, in any case he is with someone else in future. So with that thought, I must as well clear everything up just to 'finish our business'.
In fact the worst part of a break up is that if I am the one doing it, I pre-empt a lot of things that might happened thus I will be organising everything to make sure the important stuff are already back in my place before approaching him. Cruel of me? But then, let us be realistic.
Why I blog about this? Well, a girlfriend of mine shared her recent experience with me about her current situation. *no more details about it*
I find that it is not wise at all for any party to help their 'ex' safe-keep anything after a break up, and left the thing there while waiting for them to claim it back in the future. Why bother doing so? Why still keep the responsibility to help to safe-keep the things, even if they asked? Why waste the space? And suppose that you have a new partner with you now and then out of a sudden your kind ex wanted back all the stuff he/she left behind that he/she asked your help to keep. Whether it is a lot or not. But yet, the hassle of gathering everything that was left behind (which you thought at first was only a few but apparently when he/she asked another time about something else, it's not all yet). It is worse if let say this 'ex' is the one that you do not wish to talk too anymore. And, it disturb both you and your new partner's life. All the hassle for nothing.
The point is, breaking up should be done wisely and cleanly (this is what I believe in) so that nothing is left behind which will affect the other party's future well-being. I believe that the only responsibilities left for someone to do after the break up is not as simple as safe-keeping the stuff for them, but to make sure that both party's future well-being is not affected by each other anymore.
In fact, even if I did left something over that I've totally forgotten about and that my ex remind me of that stuff, I would just ask him to throw it away (even if we remain friends) and apologise for didn't clear that up earlier (it is also my responsibility to make sure I didn't disrupt his current life with his partner, if he has one). Seriously, whatever that I have bought before I am pretty sure I can buy it again, even if that stuff has sentimental values. Unless it is so sentimental that you can't live without, then ask for it and make sure nothing is left behind anymore (but then if it is so important, I think you would have pick it up right after the break up). It is not kind to keep stuff at your ex's place and ask for it after 8 months later and still expect the things to be there for you to collect. What if it was thrown away or misplaced somewhere? See the hassle and more heartaches later over 'stuff'?
Am I confusing you? LOL, I think I am as I just wrote this in a blurt.
What do you think?
.


















